Lost
by Ninnaras
Summary: Lost in the darkness she waits. Alone in the light, will he ever find her?
1. Default Chapter

_Where am I? Where is everyone? Why am I alone?_

Frightened eyes cast about for any trace of light, heightened hearing listens intently for the smallest sound. Hands lightly trace jagged stone walls that cruelly cut and tear into soft hands. Feet try to find their way in the all encompasing darkness, stumbling over stones hidden in it's murky depths.

_What is this place? How did I get here? Where is my beloved? Why is he not with me?_

The slow drip of water come to the attention of heightened senses, drip, drip, drip. The sound seems magnified in the darkness, menacing and grim. A lithe body feels it's way carefully along the hard wall trying to find the source of the sound.

_What is this place? Why do I not remember?_

Legs give way as feet trip over a rock and helplessly the body crashes into the cold embrace water. Hidden rocks cut mercilessly into bared skin, mapping out thin lines across skin and muscle which spill over with a different liquid. The splash seems almost unbearably loud in the dark, breaking the deafening silence. Fabric clings to the body like a second skin, pressing against new and old wounds and making them itch and irritate.

_Why do I not remember!_

Frustrated sighes escape cracked lips as tears of anger spill over their shallow containers and slip slowly down round cheeks leaving unseen trails of frustration. The body wearily scrambles to it's feet, trying desperately to find a safe route through the perilous dark. Heaving itself out the water, the body moves round the walls of it's cage searching for a way out of the looming blackness, an inbuilt instinct for light coming to the fore of the mind.

_Where did I get these wounds, twas not from the fall?_

Body collapses to the ground, shaking from exhaustion and exertion. Trembling hands touch gashes and cuts made from cruel blades, tracing the contours of the wounds through the rips and tears in the fabric, dull aches suddenly becoming sharp pains as though recognising the exsistence of them enhances them. Unbidden words from the past, almost forgotten during the chasms of time that had passed.

_Within each of us is a hidden store of energy. Energy we can release to compete in the trials of life. Within each of us is a hidden store of courage. Courage to give us the strength to face any challenge. Within each of us is a hidden store of determination. Determination to keep us trying when all seems lost._

Hauling itself up again the body determindly starts its fruitless search for light.

_If there is a way in, there is a way out._

The mind pictures it's mate, the wise yet gentle face, benevolent eyes, kind smile, tender kisses and passionate touches. Memories keep the body going, pushing past limits and breaking boundries.

_I will find you_


	2. Despair

_Disclaimer applies again._

_ Reviewwwwwwwww... pretty please with candy on top. ;-)  
_

_Where is she? Where is she?_

Fear. Mind-bending panic consumes the mind and terror ensnares the senses. Fearful eyes search wildly about the clearing: fearful of what of what they might see.A body spins in fretful circles, searching, hoping.

_Not dead, please valar not dead._

Weary feet gain new life as they hop over rocks, weapons, bodies. Eyes search for the slightest trail, for something, anything that might help. Ears block out all other voices, concentrating solely on the search.The body sprints quickly to where she was last seen. Voice calls out desperatly, beseeching her to be alive, to not have left him.

_I cannot lose her, I would not be able to bear it._

The heart stops as the eyes pick out a glint among the gore, the mind screams in recognision. Trembling hands gently pick out the weapon, her weapon from beneath the carrion. The blade is covered in battle grime, a testament to his lady's bravery. The mind steps up the search, frantically scrutinizing every body, hoping against hope.

_Where is she? Valar help me!_

Arms wildly ward off men trying to pull him away, voices telling him it's too late, they've taken her. Angry commands issue from cracked lips, sending out scouting parties.

_I will not leave her for dead._

Determination and desperation drive the exhausted body on. A spark of hope ignited when a trail is found. Faithful steed is mounted and spurred on following almost invisible tracks through the forest. The mind knows there is almost no hope, if they have her, they will rape her, torture her, then kill her. The head hangs as a silver tear slips out of closed lids.

_I will find her, I will kill them._


	3. Hopelessness

**Hopelessness**

**Disclaimer: Nothing but the plot is mine.**

**Reviews: Pretty please... **

Head hangs wearily on bent knees. The mind contemplates how long it has been here, days, weeks, years? There is no light to mark the passing of time, only the slow drip of the water as it taps out a pattern on the stony floor. Tired hands fiddle slowly with the tattered edge of a worn tunic, imaging what colour it would be, probably black the mind mused.

_Why hasn't he come for me?_

The body stands slowly, feeling wounds re-open and spill more blood down the already bloodied skin. A sigh is emitted into the darkness.

_I promised I wouldn't give up hope, I promised_

Shuffling towards the wall, the body started again its search for a way out, something that had already been done countless many times with the same result, nothing. Round and round the stone walls until the demand of the body overcomes the determination of the mind and it collapses to the ground. Strained muscles protest and broken bones object to moving as the body lies helplessly on the ground.

_He would not leave me, would he?_

The mind begins to doubt, and from that doubt springs fear that seeps into the heart and curls its black tendrils round the soul. Tears begin to spill furiously from desperate eyes, sobs penetrate the darkness, interupting the slow drip of the water, as the body convulses and shakes.

_Mayhap he thinks me dead, what would then be the point of living._

Sorrowful eyes weep and weep until there are no more tears left to shed, the loss of blood starts to take its toll on the exhausted body and blissful darkness surrounds the mind.

Slowly, gently, an almost unoticable door begins to open and another occupant enters the stone chamber. Cruel laughter rings through the chamber at the sight of the maid lying unconscious on the hard ground.

_Once the mind breaks, the soul shall follow._

Studing the pitiful body on the floor, hair matted around her frame, bloodied clothes, bleeding wounds, eyes closed in sleep and pain, the figured smiled before slipping out and closing the stone door.


	4. Desperation

Disclaimer: Same applies.

**A/N **I am having the most AWFUL case of writers block right now, please help me, I will try and post another chapter up sooner but i'm having a busy week.

Glorfindel34- Thanks for reviewing sweetie! Orcs? nah i'm thinking something more subtle. Yes i'm being vague on purpose, it's a new writing technique I read about and I thought why not try it out? Please review this chapter as Your input means the world to me :-)

Gremlin-the-LOTR-angel: Thanks for the review. hope you like this chapter, review again ;-)

Reviews are always welcome!

Desperation

The light from the fire cast eerie shadow on the trees, the soft snorting of the horses the only sound that penetrated the dark, unearthly, night. The very air was charged with emotions, making the whole camp jumpy and restless. The forest was as silent as the grave, neither bird nor beast made a sound.

By a solitary fire, a lone figure was silhouetted against the dancing flames, deep in thought, excluding an air that made none want to be near him. The figure's hands constantly clenched and unclenched in a steady pattern, clench, unclench. Broken eyes stared into the leaping flames as though they held the answers to all the problems in his heart, following the orange flames in their enticing dance, trying to forget for a moment the crushing emptiness that was overpowering his soul.

_If I lose her I will die._

He had given in to the mens' pleading to stop for the night, weary mind taking in their objections that they should stop, that he would do no good if he was on the verge of collapse if they found her, when, when they found her. Time was running out.

_Is she crying out for me, is she wondering where I am, why I am not there._

More tears escape hooded lids as they join the path of a thousand others that have been shed in the bitter watches of the night. They are not stopped, simply allowed to fall in a waterfall of grief, numbing the mind to aught else.

_I will fall upon my blade if she dies_

The mind is too fatigued to acknowledge the worried stares of the men, their hushed whispers to each other, the way their eyes hold pity and compassion, they too love their lady.

_Someone have mercy, I beg of you._

Countless hours pass by until the soft light of dawn fillters through the trees and the sweet chiruping of bird calls echo through the forest. The camp is silent as they pack up and ready for another day of searching, everyone averting their eyes from their sorrowful captian. The horses are mounted swiftly and again the various pairs move out, more determined than ever to find something, their loyalty knows no bounds and they will not stop until they have found her.

Dead or alive.


	5. Light

**Disclaimer: Same applies**

**A/N: Ducks all food being thrown at her, I'm sorry I've been so busy. Please read and review.**

She felt nothing anymore.

Not the hardness of the stone floor, nor the sting of the whips, nor the brutal hands or the iron cuffs. She was numb. Her mind blocked out the mocking laughter and the cruel taunts. She could no longer see their evil faces twisted in pleasure as the took her again and again, no longer see the blood that stained every part of her body, no longer see her beloved's face in her minds eye. She was surrounded by brillant white and she was safe, safe from everything that could hurt her. Her soul was slowly fleeing her body and she didn't care.

She didn't notice when the dragged her tortured body from it's dank prison, didn't noticed when she was placed on their leader's makeshift bed, didn't notice when he approched her grinning softly.

_I can't see him anymore. I wish I could have seen him again._

He was consumed by fire. Burning raging fire that threatened to consume his soul as he killed one evil creation after the other. He turned to see his men close behind him, they had stumbled on the bastards who had took her more by luck than skill and he praised whichever god had gave him this luck. Narrowly avoiding a sword aimed for his neck he charged up the hill towards the cave, his men hot at his heels, letting out a cry of pure rage

_Please let her be alive, Elbereth_

She could feel herself being dragged out of her safe haven by the sounds of sword on sword, dimly her mind registered a farmiliar battle cry, then she relapsed back to the safe whiteness.

He barely stopped to realise that all his enemy were dead, including the leader who he himself had personally slew, before rushing into the cave. Horrifed eyes lit upon the bundle on the bed and a cry of pure anguish was released. Skidding to the side of the makeshift bed he gathered up the bloody maid into his arms.

_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_

She felt a dim shard of annoyance as her haven was broken, but it soon disappered, here there was nothing.

_Wait, I know that voice._

She struggled to emerge from her hazy stuppor, but she was so tired...so tired.

He cradled her broken body gently to his chest, stroking the matted hair softly, rocking her back and forth.

"I'm here love, I'm here, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he whispered.

Her eyes flew open, then closed again in the harsh light of day. Slowly she opened them again... and saw a face she never hoped she would see again.

"Beloved?" her voice was softer than a whisper, hoarse from torture.

His head shot up to reveal the tears that poured down his cheeks.

"I'm here, don't worry everything is well, you will get better, we will be together and..." he was cut off as she slowly, and with a great amount of effort, lifted her hand to his lips.

"I'm glad...I...got to...see you... one...last...time," her voice was interupted by racking coughs. She could feel herself being dragged back into that comforting whiteness, it was taking all her willpower to stay awake

"No," he shook his head in denial, "You will live," he cried softly.

She gave him a wan smile, "I will...always...be...with you"

He lowered his head to hers as he saw the light slipping from her eyes and began to sing a favourite song of hers.

_A Elbereth Gilthoniel_

_silivren penna miriel_

_o menel aglar elenath!_

_Na-chaered palan-diriel_

_o galadhremmin ennorath_

_Fanuilos, le linnathon_

_nef aear, si nef aearon!_

She gave him a last small smile before the light disappeared from her eyes.

He screamed.

_fin_

**A/N I am considering an epilouge for this story, if abyone is interested in one please review and tell me.**


	6. Goodbye my Lover

A/N; Finally the I have got this up. Please Review to tell me what you think.

**Goodbye my lover**

_Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me._

_James Blunt_

Three weeks, it has been three weeks. An eternity without her. I am lost, broken on the rocks of despair.

Her funeral was grand, as befitted a lady of her station, and every single second was another blow to my soul. I cannot do it anymore, every day is torture to endure. Food and drink turn to ash in my mouth, I can't sleep for the nightmares, and it is all my fault. I should never have let her go with me, I knew it was dangerous, I knew there were all sorts of foul creature abroad. But when she turned that sweet smile on me I couldn't say no, I could never say no. Now I will never see that smile again, or hear her laugh or watch her sleep.

_I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.  
I've watched you sleeping for a while_

Never will I wake evry day to her arms, nor will we have the child we so desired. She was my heart and soul and without her my spirit is lost. The day she walked into my life was the day I changed for the better. She so completely enveloped me with her love that I becam a better person. Now she is gone, ripped away in my own foolishness.

_You touched my heart you touched my soul.  
You changed my life and all my goals.  
And love is blind and that I knew when,  
My heart was blinded by you._

_  
_Everyone is being so kind to me and I son't understand why. Because of me they have lost a daughter, sister, friend and comrade. Why waste their pity. They tell me time will heal all wounds, but she was my soulmate, my lover, my world. Now I stand alone as my world crashes down around me, cut and torn by the shards of it. I wish only to throw myself at her feet in the House of Death and beg her to forgive me.

_And I will bear my soul in time,  
When I'm kneeling at your feet._

The world is growing darker, and I do not think I can face the darkness without her. There is nothing here for me anymore but a world of shadow and mist. I cannot live without her.

I don't plan too.

_And I love you, I swear that's true.  
I cannot live without you._


End file.
